I Don't Want to Work for the Empire

20 Jul 2022

If you were a free-thinking citizen of the Evil Galactic Empire, would you give it your all? Would you go the extra mile at work to ensure that your job was done right? Should you work hard?

What if you work in a spaceship factory and every spaceship you help create is outfitted with anti-matter weapons and sent to eradicate the nearest rebel base? You’re not directly shooting any rebels, but if you work 10% harder, that space ship is going to arrive outside the rebel’s door that little bit sooner.

Well, let’s say you don’t directly work in any business connected to the war effort. You’re a cook, not a cook on any spaceship or a cook working at an Empire office building. You’re just a cook at a so-so Flaborpian restaurant that serves primarily a middle-class, private sector clientele on Rigel IV.

But Rigel IV is part of the Evil Galactic Empire, and of course the Evil Galactic Empire has some pretty high income taxes to support the war effort. So say you work hard. You invent a new dish using local Janyala berries. You get promoted to head Flaborpian chef. You’re making more credits, another ₾200 per cycle. But about half of that goes to the Empire so it’s more like an extra ₾100. Don’t you feel just a little bit bad that the Empire’s going to have another ₾~100 to spend towards the war effort?

What about all those middle-class factory managers who absolutely adore your Janyala berry sauce? They’re going to work just a little bit better after their lunch break because your sauce re-energized them. Hell, you’re contributing to the GDP of the Galactic Empire with every dollar you earn. Everything you do better helps to achieve the Evil goal of wiping out the rebels!

Don’t even think of trying to fight the Empire from within or funneling your credits to the rebels. The last citizen crazy enough to practice civil disobedience was imprisoned dozens of cycles ago.

Knowing all this, you decide the most moral course of action you can take aligns with your secret lazy desires. Work just poorly enough to keep your job. Or better yet, take advantage of the Galactic unemployment package and spend half a cycle playing VR on your couch for every cycle you spend working. Not only are you minimizing your contribution to the Evil Galactic Empire, you’re also being an active drain on their tax pool! Every ₾1 you spend on buying holographic VR waifus is ₾1 that will never go towards making another warship! You can be a rebel and the Galactic Empire will actively pay you for your rebellion of one!

What if your society isn’t as Evil as the Galactic Empire, but it’s still a little evil?

I suggest that the current labor shortage in America is due to the pervasive perception that our government and the people in charge are Evil. At least that perception is a major reason I chose a career path that leeches off US government funds while not accomplishing US government goals.